Time cannot heal all wounds completely, but there are ways to lessen the pain and end the cycle of trauma to move forward in life.
There are different roads to healing and various ways to manage trauma and the crippling pain that goes with it. We may be in a particular phase of recovery and not know it. Self-preservation comes in many forms and stages. The Other Side of Fear by W.Veronica Lisare talks about her journey of overcoming great adversities in her life and how she was able to end the cycle of trauma and grief. Aside from discussions on overcoming fear in W. Veronica’s book also contains guides on moving away from a hurtful past and choosing the road to healing and happiness.
Acknowledgment and acceptance.
One cannot face trauma without acknowledging that it happened and accepting that it is affecting your physical, mental, and emotional health. However, most people who experience traumatic events and losses are stuck in simply acknowledging that they are victims of unfortunate circumstances and that they are in pain, anxious, or fearful. Without acceptance of the past, the hurt becomes a cycle. Acceptance is always the first step to awakening that one is in an unhealthy situation, and therefore, something must be done to end this and move forward. As cliche as it sounds, you cannot improve what you cannot measure.
Be mindful of the present, not past.
There is a reason why people always utter the phrase, ‘past is past.’ The past is exactly what it is- something you cannot change and have control over. What you can control, however, is the present. Focusing on the present situation, acknowledging your pain, and checking on what you can do, can help you design a new future for yourself. What you decide to act upon determines your fate. Sure, the path to happiness and healing may prove to be arduous as you will have to deal with wounds, losses, memories, and even people who have done you wrong, but once you get over the hump, it will be worth it. Being in the moment is also a reminder that you have survived so far, struggling but still alive.
Go ahead! You can re-invent yourself.
Never let anyone tell you that you cannot change your destiny. You always have the power to rewrite your one story and end it the way you desire. The trick is to reinvent yourself and become a better version of the person you are today. Let go of toxic routines, learn new things, abandon what is weakens you, and embrace your strong side and positive attributes. No character in any story is born strong, powerful, or happy. Every hero undergoes changes, pressure, challenges, and transformation. So can you. Always strive to better yourself and avoid dwelling on the things that limit your potential and pull you back to the dark chapter of your life.
You should preserve yourself always.
Traumatic events and other unfortunate events (rejection, loss, physical and emotional trauma, injuries, etc.) often leave us with low self-esteem, scarred, and no regard for self-care (diet, hygiene, etc.). Some are even prone to self-destructive behaviors and suicide. It is imperative that we move away from these tendencies and instead make a step-by-step effort to take care of our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Exercise, proper diet, healthy routines, and keeping a company with a positive outlook and healthy dispositions is essential in your journey away from trauma and past hurt. It does not need to happen right away. Just be sure to make progress, no matter how small or insignificant you think they may be. Every move to better take care of yourself will someday reward you.
Learn to cross and build new bridges.
Finally, once you can make progress regarding your physical, mental, and emotional stability, it’s time to expand your horizons and enjoy opportunities that come your way. You can also create new opportunities for yourself. Aside from learning new things, you can also explore new environments and meet new people. Forge connections that will benefit your whole well-being. Of course, this will be constant progress, and the road probably will not be a straight line or a smooth sailing experience all the time. What matters most is you now have the strength and the wisdom to identify, accept things that will make you happy, or let go of unnecessary burdens you will meet along the way.