I am often told that I am too hard on myself and I know I am not alone. Having been raised in a home where learning by making mistakes was not accepted, I was expected to be perfect. Even after we leave our childhood home, we continue to impose our parental judgements onto ourselves. Listen to your self-talk. Is it critical? Do we also hold others to our standards and quietly criticize them if they fail? The Bible speaks about not judging others. It wasn’t until I was in my late fifties before I understood the scriptures about God’s grace. My attempts at being perfect don’t earn me His love. Ephesians 2:8 says “ For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God.” Trying to be perfect is not what God requires. He knew we would fall short and so Jesus, the only perfect One, came to take our sins onto Himself. Having a revelation of this truth gives absolute freedom. We no longer need to hold ourselves in contempt for failing, but instead, thank Him for forgiving us and setting us free from being driven to perform. It is faith in what Jesus did and trusting that God is molding us into His likeness that pleases God. All we need to do is continue to focus on Him, surrender to the process and trust Him. If we continue to fix our eyes and thoughts on our failures, that is where we will tend to go.
I pray for countless people who come for prayer about a situation and then tell all the reasons why there is no solution. We need to be open to the belief that somehow God can break through the obstacles and make a way. Encouraging people to receive the answer by faith is essential. Like the man in the Bible said “ I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24
For example, we may receive a hopeless diagnosis from a doctor. Having been in the medical field, I realize that these are their best guess based on their experiences. But God is the Great Physician and has the final say. Jesus paid the price for our healing when he received the lashes right before He went on the cross. Isaiah prophesied about this in chapter 53:5-6.
We need to agree with those words and declare “ by His wounds, we are healed.”
Faith doesn’t come easily or quickly. It takes time and experience with God to come to know that He is not judging or condemning us. He is good. He loves us. We will have tests of our faith as that is the only way to grow us. Many times I felt as though I was free falling without a parachute. Everything in me wanted to find a place of safety, security and normalcy. But then, God came through and showed me His faithfulness.
I love the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and went through many trials, but God used it all for good in the end. Joseph eventually could see that his brothers act was meant for evil, but God meant it for good. He kept His eyes on God and trusted Him through all the confusing, dark times.
Be encouraged dear readers. Speak kindly over yourselves. Don’t agree with the condemning, accusing thoughts of our enemy, the devil. Only agree with what God says about us. We are His beloved sons and daughters. He wants us to be blessed. We are loved.
Respectfully submitted July 7, 2021
Wendy Arelis ( W. Veronica Lisare)
Photo from Shutterstock
We are taught to search for value for everything and make sure to get our money's worth. Assessing how much we are willing to pay and the item's importance is how we know its value. We tend to put a value on people and ourselves in a similar way. There is a belief that a person's worth is based on status and wealth. Whilst we begin linking our value and worth on this one-dimensional measure. However, can this truly sustain a fulfilling life and a high sense of self-worth? Wealth and status do not equate to how content we are in life. These are only two of the other faulty and covert measures that humanity uses. A thought process based on lack and fear leads to judgment and self-criticism if these measures are not met.
However, only through God and yourself will you find contentment, self-worth, and value as shared in W. Veronica's book on finding your true value and identity. W. Veronica Lisare found that her life experiences, relationships, and assumptions are not identifiers of her worth and value. Now through her book, she will lead you to the same journey of discovery. Following Lisare's lead to unearthing your value and self-worth will be the best decision you will ever make. Value and self-worth are created internally, so it might seem complicated to quantify them. However, there will always be signs that you'll slowly see in yourself.
Perfection is Not Your Goal
The first sign you'll notice is that you no longer aspire for perfection. Striving for excellence is admirable but striving for perfection is impossible to achieve. This does not mean you don't believe in yourself; rather, you have become aware that you are not flawless and that perfection doesn't exist. Essential happiness is not found in perfection. The need to become the most beautiful person the media portrays is no longer a predisposition. Instead, you begin loving your flaws and accept yourself as who you are. You become living and a being who can still make poor decisions. There is room for improvement, but it is not the foremost important thing for you.
No Desire for Approval
The fact that you no longer desire to change for the sake of someone else's approval is a sign of value and self-worth. Pretending and adjusting yourself to please other people will be pointless. You won't need to compromise your standards just to gain appreciation. When you know your self-worth, settling for less is never an option. Instead, you focus on personal growth. You change for the sake of yourself— not because others want you to change. This doesn't mean that you aren't accepting criticism. After all, you know you are not always right, but you don't let others mold you into something that fits their standards.
You are Incomparable
Comparison breeds doubt, which delays your discovery of value and self-worth. You are incomparable. Sure, sometimes comparison helps as a form of motivation to be the best. But the strongest motivation you need comes from within, not from other sources. Comparison often leads to unhappiness when in fact, we have so much to be grateful for. Realizing you are incomparable is a sure win because being you is one thing you're better at than other people. Knowing your worth, there is no need for constant reassurance and the need to prove yourself to anyone. There's never a point considering that there's always someone better. Hence shift your perspective inwards. At the end of the day, you remain true to yourself. You've stopped comparing yourself to others, and you don't concede to societal standards.
Clear Values are in Place
What you believe in is important in the way you live and work. Clear values are deal breakers as they help you with every decision, more importantly in realizing your self-worth. With clear values in place, you know your boundaries. You know what you deserve and what you don't deserve, and you dare to speak out when necessary. No external validation to prove your value; instead, an internal compass of right and wrong.
You Can Let Things Go
High self-worth is how you see yourself and how you take care of your peace and joy. People with low self-worth are firmly attaching their worth to experiences, rewards, and people. And when those leave, feelings of worthiness diminish. People with high self-worth don't need to hold on to anything since they have everything they need; there's no need to force things or people to stay. Your value and self-worth are entirely up to you. You are worthy because you believe it. You trust that you are enough that letting things go will be effortless.
Life can be too unpredictable, taking you on a journey of a lifetime through its valleys and mountains. Nevertheless, life is very precious. Had it not been so, none would make efforts to cling on to it as long as possible. Life and existence have always been intertwined; without the latter, life cannot happen. However, existence is sometimes challenging. Many do not have the fortune to get a good childhood, education, and access to food and shelter. These people find their existence difficult and life harsh. Just like how life and existence are connected, another element linked to life is hope. Hope is what most people cling to when they find themselves in the darkness that is slowly eating their lives. Hope is what makes us want to survive and thrive in this world, which is an important aspect for anyone and everyone.
The world these days isn't as glittery and glamorous. Society now is ridden with unforeseen evils, which makes living more difficult. And for those whose existence is constantly challenged, they cling to hope more since it is the only way of survival.
It's natural to get lost along the way, considering that life tends to be tougher the longer you live on earth. Making decisions is never easy, and making wrong decisions can lead you astray. The wrong decisions don't mean that there is no going back, instead think of it as a detour. Always remember that one thing is constant in our life, and that is change. You cannot avoid making wrong decisions nor unexpected events in your life. However, you can control how you choose to respond to them. You have the power to activate positive change in your life for the better. Making life changes is hard, but it's even harder when it's a big one. Despite that terrifying statement, you must get past the fear and move forward with the things you want to do. Thus, here are some helpful reminders to pocket.
Anything Worth Having Comes with Risk and Fear
We grow up thinking that fear is always a bad thing. It makes us weak, sometimes insecure. But, have you ever thought that maybe what you know of fear may be wrong? Rather than seeing it as something inherently negative, maybe it's time to see it as a natural part of humanity. Most use it to stop them from taking risks to avoid bad results. However, some learn to harness fear and use it to their advantage. W. Veronica Lisare changed her perspective about fear and learned not only to conquer but also to use it. She learned that anything she has now is a result of facing risks and fears. And now, she uses her voice to help others with this ordeal.
So, remember that risks and fear are always part of success. You are capable of taking risks, face fears, and still succeed in the end.
The Worst-Case Scenario Isn't All That Bad
Many successful people have learned an important lesson: you can choose to be at peace or choose to be anxious. If you choose the latter, you'll never know what is on the other side of fear. Being anxious is a result of overthinking the worst-case scenario, which can strike fear within. You are probably in limbo right now, and choosing to be anxious about the future will get you nowhere. Stop thinking of the worst-case scenario because it isn't always all that bad.
Security Blankets Keep You from Growing
We all have security blankets, but they aren't literally blankets. Well, not anymore, that is. Security blankets may be comfy and make us feel safe and secure, but it's stopping you from growing. Security blankets will keep you safely tucked in your comfort zone instead of facing fear and risk. To make significant life changes, you need to decide whether you want to stay put in place or face your fears. There is no in-between. Overcoming Fear on W. Veronica's book, The Other Side of Fear, declares that you must move through your own challenges to the other side of everything. Only this way will you be more brave, more mature, and more who you should be.
Have the Courage to Trust Yourself
You can make all sorts of excuses just to get away from doing anything or making important decisions. However, avoidance just portrays you as someone who doesn't trust yourself to do the right thing. It's natural to have little confidence when placed in a new situation or place. Don't be too worried. Give yourself more credit than that. You are capable of doing anything and everything if you put your mind to it. You've dealt with things much harder than this, right? And look at yourself now; you're fine and thriving. So, have courage, trust yourself, and you'll figure out the rest.
Many of us feel as though we are walking blindfolded into quicksand as we wake daily and hope that all of the events in this past year were just a bad dream. But no. It is our reality. We don’t know what is really true or who we can trust as the information and sources seem more often unreliable. Trusting our government officials as well as the media to be honest seems to be a thing of the past.
I have known and trusted only one source and that is Father God, His Son Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and of course the Word of God! The enemy of our souls Satan, is the author of confusion, not God. I heard it said that the Bible states “fear not” at least 365 times…one for each day. Fear gives the enemy access to us and causes trouble. It is essential to our safety to know God, His goodness, and to trust Him to help us. We come into His Kingdom by accepting the sacrifice that His Son Jesus gave on the cross for us. His life. His payment for our sins so we can be reconciled again to God. Nothing hindering our relationship. Nothing to earn. Just receive it by grace. Pure love looks like that. While we were still sinners, Jesus suffered an agonizing death to pay the full price for all of our sins. They are forgiven. There is nothing that can keep God from loving and helping us if we look to Him as our source. He is our “strong tower” and bedrock foundation (Psalm 91). The words to a song ring out…” on Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand. “Yes, and Amen. He will give us wisdom, discernment, guidance and insight if we just ask. But “the reverent fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge. But fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7)
We are instructed to “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3.
The Bible is full of scriptures that encourage us to trust God. We are also told that we will have troubles in this world, but He has overcome them. He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He has a wonderful plan for our lives. (Jeremiah 29:11). Our faith is built during our trials. We can really trust Him if we make Jesus our Lord and Saviour. Let Him be in the driver’s seat of our lives. As well, we need to GLANCE at the world and all its problems, but GAZE at Jesus. Keep focus on Him; the “Author and Perfecter of our faith!” Renewing the thoughts or beliefs we have in our mind is accomplished by putting the Word of Truth in it, declaring them out loud often and renouncing lies of fear and unbelief. This process takes time and discipline but will be essential to keep ourselves from being led astray and ultimately losing our peace and joy. The joy of knowing the Lord is our strength.
Be encouraged dear readers. He is faithful and is the only sure place of safety and love.
May you all come to know and trust Him. God bless you.
Wendy (W. Veronica Lisare)
In today's world, many people are accommodating others' needs, which often leads to us only revealing what's expected of us. This, in turn, renders us unable to differentiate what our true selves are. Thus, failing to live as a distinguished person with a sense of purpose. When you can't sense your own needs, you wind up feeling empty. You'll be floating through life without really feeling or fulfilling anything.
If you want to live a fulfilling life, you must first find out who you truly are. This is a long process and something that takes searching before discovering. Finding your true self does not happen when you're stuck in fear, disconnected, and with no action course. This article will help you uncover your true identity to start unearthing your passions, values, desires, and motivations. Here's how:
Make Sense of Your Past
To begin with, you are missing a lot of the best things about yourself when you're alienated from your true self. Finding your identity means becoming aware of those around you, what makes you happy, and what does not. Identifying those mentioned above can be difficult when you're too disconnected. The first step to discovering your identity is to explore your past. Our past is our foundation. The past is what builds you to who you are now, and in order to uncover who you are, you have to know your own story.
Unresolved traumas from your history dictate the way you act today. Hence, it serves you to recognize your past to understand it. Like a storm, they will pass, and afterward, you'll be able to pick yourself up and make something out of it. W. Veronica Lisare was once one of us, she had a hard time and low self-esteem because of her devastating past, but when she embraced her authentic identity and love of God, she discovered so much about herself. The Other Side of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love by Lisare is a book where she shares her journey to make meaning out of her life. When you're disconnected like Lisare, it's hard to know what you want, and it's even harder to make decisions that are right for you. Better understanding your past allows you a step forward to becoming who you should be.
Research has shown that it isn't just the things that happened in the past that defines who you have become, but also of how much you've sought meaning after what's happened. Yes, you don't deserve a traumatizing history, but when you allow that to stop you is another thing. Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but because of the lack of meaning and purpose. When seeking your true identity, you must also seek out your own personal sense of purpose. This means that a person with no purpose won't learn his real identity and will question the meaning of his life. Therefore, seek meaning and find the happiness linked to finding your true self. Make something out of the values dictating you and follow the principles you have created. Research even shows that the happiest people are generally happier when they learn their goals that extend beyond themselves.
Visualize Who You Want to Be
Knowing who you want to be is fundamental to finding yourself. Identifying your wants and desires will help you realize who you are and what's important to you. This may sound simple, but it's far from that. Many fall victim to negative thoughts about life's circumstances rather than focusing on the positive side of one's self. You lose confidence in who you want to be since you're considering the opinions of other people. And because of this, most people would put their walls up out of fear and rejection. Wanting makes you feel alive but will make you vulnerable to the world. But to truly live and find your identity means you have to be open to these possibilities.
When you learn what you want, you are challenged to take power over your life. No longer will you spiral into negative thinking and disconnect. Instead, you accept the power of your own destiny, harnessing your personal power to finding and becoming your true self. Changing your perception allows you to be more in touch with who you are. It strips you from your old, guarded self with no sense of purpose or meaning. As you discard this image of your former self, you allow your authentic self to emerge and flourish.
You may be sitting there thinking about the meaning of life. You may be thinking about what your path really is. Are you really happy with what you are doing? Are you now certain of the path you are about to take in the future? Your passion is something that you should always go for. But if you haven't decided on that just yet, you may have to go through some things. The significance of knowing what you really want to do and knowing your purpose should always be your priority. To tell you the truth, it may not come to you overnight; you have to work for it. If you are looking for motivation to take these measures, you've surely turned to the right blog. This will discuss the importance of discovering your life's meaning and will give you some tips on where and how you can find it.
Finding your purpose—may sound vague. You will be confused about where to start. It can be a little tricky. But, if you are really determined to make it happen, you can turn what you thought is impossible into something attainable. Once you have found it, you can definitely feel the contentment you've always looked for. You can turn this into an inspiration for you to keep going; everybody wants to have contentment and happiness. It serves as your fuel to have peace of mind.
Your purpose in life needs to be found if you want to achieve peace of mind like any other person in this world. The process may not be the same for everyone else, but you can always get inspired by other people. Make sure to check out some books that can give you just that. It would be best if you looked into authors that can provide you the wisdom about this. The Other side of Fear by W. Veronica Lisare. Her book is a testimony of her inspiring journey in moving through challenges in life. It will give you insights into the spiritual tools she discovered throughout her walk with God. If you want to learn more about finding your purpose, you should grab a copy.
If you want to know more about the power of finding your purpose and know how it can benefit you once you do. The points below will also give you some particular tips for you to find that purpose.
It Promotes Happiness
Happiness is created, not found. Through discovering the true meaning of life is the only time you feel true happiness. Thus, if you want to have that happiness within you finally, you need to take action. Finding the true meaning of life requires you to go through adventures. Adventures that are risky as it always is. However, it would help if you also thought of life as an adventure, full of challenges, that without it, life could mean nothing at all.
It Makes You Be Grateful of Small Things
Being appreciative, even with the little things, can really give you so much genuine joy. This is because if you are really looking for bigger things, you will not be contented. Whenever there's something that good happens, you will tend to look for more. This is when the comparing happens. Comparing yourself to other people will not do you good. Remember that all people are different. Exposed to different kinds of privilege, opportunities, and resources. You have your own, and that person you are comparing yourself to has their own. They may be better at a certain aspect, and you are not, but if you look at the brighter side, you see that you are still blessed in other factors in life other than those things. This is how you should see the world. If you finally see your purpose, achieving this mindset will not be as hard as you thought it would.
It Helps You Move on
You may have heard it before from other people, but to tell you again, moving on is one of the hardest things to do in this world. However, when you accept and are self-aware of your capabilities and your life's meaning, you can do it more efficiently. Acceptance will not be hard for you. This is because you will know your worth, and you will realize that sticking to what's done will not help you grow.
Overall, other than the things mentioned above, finally finding your purpose will give you so much more. These are just some of the advantages you can get out of it.