Time cannot heal all wounds completely, but there are ways to lessen the pain and end the cycle of trauma to move forward in life.
There are different roads to healing and various ways to manage trauma and the crippling pain that goes with it. We may be in a particular phase of recovery and not know it. Self-preservation comes in many forms and stages. The Other Side of Fear by W.Veronica Lisare talks about her journey of overcoming great adversities in her life and how she was able to end the cycle of trauma and grief. Aside from discussions on overcoming fear in W. Veronica’s book also contains guides on moving away from a hurtful past and choosing the road to healing and happiness.
Acknowledgment and acceptance.
One cannot face trauma without acknowledging that it happened and accepting that it is affecting your physical, mental, and emotional health. However, most people who experience traumatic events and losses are stuck in simply acknowledging that they are victims of unfortunate circumstances and that they are in pain, anxious, or fearful. Without acceptance of the past, the hurt becomes a cycle. Acceptance is always the first step to awakening that one is in an unhealthy situation, and therefore, something must be done to end this and move forward. As cliche as it sounds, you cannot improve what you cannot measure.
Be mindful of the present, not past.
There is a reason why people always utter the phrase, ‘past is past.’ The past is exactly what it is- something you cannot change and have control over. What you can control, however, is the present. Focusing on the present situation, acknowledging your pain, and checking on what you can do, can help you design a new future for yourself. What you decide to act upon determines your fate. Sure, the path to happiness and healing may prove to be arduous as you will have to deal with wounds, losses, memories, and even people who have done you wrong, but once you get over the hump, it will be worth it. Being in the moment is also a reminder that you have survived so far, struggling but still alive.
Go ahead! You can re-invent yourself.
Never let anyone tell you that you cannot change your destiny. You always have the power to rewrite your one story and end it the way you desire. The trick is to reinvent yourself and become a better version of the person you are today. Let go of toxic routines, learn new things, abandon what is weakens you, and embrace your strong side and positive attributes. No character in any story is born strong, powerful, or happy. Every hero undergoes changes, pressure, challenges, and transformation. So can you. Always strive to better yourself and avoid dwelling on the things that limit your potential and pull you back to the dark chapter of your life.
You should preserve yourself always.
Traumatic events and other unfortunate events (rejection, loss, physical and emotional trauma, injuries, etc.) often leave us with low self-esteem, scarred, and no regard for self-care (diet, hygiene, etc.). Some are even prone to self-destructive behaviors and suicide. It is imperative that we move away from these tendencies and instead make a step-by-step effort to take care of our physical, mental, and emotional well-being. Exercise, proper diet, healthy routines, and keeping a company with a positive outlook and healthy dispositions is essential in your journey away from trauma and past hurt. It does not need to happen right away. Just be sure to make progress, no matter how small or insignificant you think they may be. Every move to better take care of yourself will someday reward you.
Learn to cross and build new bridges.
Finally, once you can make progress regarding your physical, mental, and emotional stability, it’s time to expand your horizons and enjoy opportunities that come your way. You can also create new opportunities for yourself. Aside from learning new things, you can also explore new environments and meet new people. Forge connections that will benefit your whole well-being. Of course, this will be constant progress, and the road probably will not be a straight line or a smooth sailing experience all the time. What matters most is you now have the strength and the wisdom to identify, accept things that will make you happy, or let go of unnecessary burdens you will meet along the way.
Acknowledging the stages of trauma is essential in the road to healing and recovery.
Before we discuss the different stages of trauma, let us first know the different types of trauma or abuse that exist in today’s society. Different trauma types have specific nature in their stages as well as their journey towards healing.
Bullying is defined as repeated unwanted aggressive behavior against a person and their reputation. It is one of the most rampant forms of abuse and common in schools, workplaces, and communities. It comes in the form of verbal, physical, and emotional torment.
This comes in the form of sexual harassment, molestation, unwanted sexual aggression, and rape. Although most victims are women, sexual abuse cases have been known to happen towards men and members of the LGBTQ community.
Physical abuse is defined as any deliberate act causing injury or trauma to another person or animal through bodily contact. It is important to note that physical abuse is different from violent trauma. The latter can happen with intentional harm. Violent trauma is common among soldiers, prisoners of war, and those caught in armed conflicts. Disasters and calamities can also cause violent trauma.
Childhood trauma comes in many forms, but the common denominator is the period. Childhood traumatic experiences and abuse that occur to children aged 0 to six years old.
Death or tragic loss of a loved one can be a cause for trauma. Sudden death, fatal accidents, and the unexpected departure of someone close can cause depression, anxiety, and perpetual pain.
Complex trauma is defined as multiple trauma usually occurring due to repeated trauma experienced by the victim. According to blueknot.org.au,
“Complex trauma is not always the result of childhood trauma. It can also occur as a result of adults’ experience of violence in the home, family, neighborhood, and workplace. It can be physical, sexual, emotional, verbal, financial, or spiritual. Other causes are violence in the community such as civil unrest, war trauma or genocide, refugee and asylum seeker trauma, sexual exploitation and trafficking, extreme medical trauma and repeated deployments such as for emergency personnel, armed forces.”
W.Lisare is an author who wrote a memoir about her life journey overcoming multiple traumas. The Other Side of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love by Lisare details how she endured an unhappy childhood, financial losses, the death of a grandchild, divorce, and cancer. This can also be classified as complex trauma. The fact that W. Veronica Lisare overcame these traumatic events in her life is proof that trauma can heal.
Also referred to as Intimate Partner Violence (IPV), Domestic Trauma or domestic violence happens when an individual purposely causes harm or threatens the risk of harm to any past or current partner or spouse.
GoodTherapy identifies four stages of trauma recovery. They are Silence, Victimhood, Survivorhood, and Thriving and Transcendence.
The first stage is characterized by refusing to discuss what transpired and the need to be alone or disconnect from the world. There are many factors for this “time of silence.” It can be guilt, shock, shame, stigma, or denial. Depending on the trauma or abuse, the period for silence can be brief or prolonged.
As time passes, the victim recognizes the situation and seeks to go back to their routine. However, because of the experience, victims are torn between ‘a need to be safe and protect emotions and a need to grow and confront the traumatic memories.’ Thus, they begin to explore and perhaps open themselves to trusted people and acknowledge that they are victims of trauma or abuse.
It may take some time before victims can reach the stage of survivorhood. This can only happen once the victim has processed the trauma or abuse, understands why it happened, and finally gathers the needed strength, courage, and support to move forward. The journey towards healing and recovery is not linear, and reaching the survivorhood stage is crucial. By this time, there is a sense of acceptance, and victims feel less and less wounded.
Thriving and Transcendence
This is the stage where victims find meaning and perhaps a pleasant transformation from the trauma or abuse they have suffered in the past. Going back to W. Veronica Lisare, being able to write a book about your trauma and other adversities is no easy feat. What she has done and how she inspires others is a perfect example of thriving and transcendence.
Of course, there are many forms of thriving after a trauma, and what matters most is that the victims can heal and remind other victims that there is always hope, that there is light at the end of the tunnel.
Having been a Christian for 46 years now, I am amazed at how the Holy Spirit has kept me persevering and moving forward, even when I often felt like I was just treading water to keep from going under. But God. He is faithful. In recent years, scripture promises that I had read many times are being highlighted. Philippians 1:6 says “ He who began a good work in us will continue it until Christ Jesus returns.” Wow! He is committed to work in us. We just need to surrender, trust and follow Him.
Early in my journey, I wasn’t taught about grace. I had believed that if I just obeyed every Word in the Bible, I would find joy and peace. Trying to do this, using sheer willpower, didn’t work. I didn’t understand that my Heavenly Father wanted a relationship with me. Ephesians 2:8 says “For by grace you have been saved through faith, and that not of yourselves. It is the gift of God.” (NKJV) Because I was raised in an abusive home, I didn’t have a good relationship with my earthly father. Fear of punishment, rejection and failure dominated me. Many years later, I would come to understand that I needed to forgive my father for the abuses and renounce the lies I believed about myself and God. The punishment I deserved for my sins was placed on Jesus. Renouncing the lies I believed meant that I was coming out of agreement with them. The Holy Spirit continues to show me other lies I have believed that have kept me from an intimate relationship with my Heavenly Father. Our enemy is a legalist, so we need to “tear up” our legal agreement with him. Asking the Lord “ What is the Truth?” is the next step. We then come into agreement with what the Word says is the Truth and declare them often. We are replacing the lies with the Truth and this is how our mind is renewed. Romans 12:2 says “And do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind, that you may prove what is that good and acceptable and perfect will of God” (NKJV)
I have collected lists of scripture verses over the years and declare many daily. The Word is becoming more real to me and I hear myself praying these promises over people in ministry. They are our foundation on which we stand and grow our faith. “ Death and life are in the power of the tongue, and those who love it will eat its fruit. Proverbs 18:21” (NKJV) We need to speak words that bring life and not death. Discovering this powerful way of praying the Word, has changed my life significantly. I used to grow weary of asking God to do this and that over and over. Praying the Word over situations has helped me grow in faith as I partner with God to “speak the things that are not as if they are” Romans 4:17. As we decree and declare His Word, we are prophesying God’s will into the future. Holy Spirit is quickening my spirit to pay attention to any habitual negative, critical, judgemental, fearful or complaining thoughts before they come out of my mouth. Speaking the opposite, even when I don’t see the evidence of it yet, is a discipline that helps me speak words of faith. The enemy wants to take our negative words and fulfill them too. Let’s not give him any ammunition to use. Thanking God for the answers to our prayers is essential as we are receiving the answers by faith. “ Therefore, I say to you, whatever things you ask when you pray, believe that you receive them, and you will have them. Mark 11:24 (NKJV) We are positioning ourselves to receive the answers in God’s timing. Faith pleases God.
Forgiveness is another key in our spiritual growth process. I had not heard much teaching on
this in my early years and possibly thought that is was only a nice gesture. Much later in my walk with the Lord, I discovered how vital it was for me to live in freedom. Holy Spirit revealed to me how I was wrapping myself in unforgiveness, bitterness and judgements as a form of self-protection , but it actually was a toxic prison. I was giving access to the enemy in my life by not giving the people who hurt me the very thing Jesus gave me at the cross. Unforgiveness keeps us tied to the past. It doesn’t mean that we trust the person, as trust is earned, but it essentially for our benefit. We put the person on “God’s hook” so He can take care of them and we are free to move forward. It has been said that unforgiveness is like drinking poison and hoping the other person dies. The bitterness causes us to defile relationships and is responsible for many physical sicknesses. Once I was aware of this, I was quickly motivated to forgive people from my past and I ask Holy Spirit to help me to keep short accounts with those in my present. It never ceases to amaze me how my relationships change as I forgive . My father and I became closer and he softened as time went on. Expecting an apology from them is not essential to this process as I am only responsible to God to obey Him. Asking others to forgive me when they or the Holy Spirit has convicted me brings healing and restoration. I see God molding me into His likeness and image as I humble myself in His sight. When I discovered that my husband was involved in adultery while I was going through cancer treatments was very devastating. Because I had been in the habit of forgiving others so quickly, it came naturally to tell him I forgave him. Having to do it over and over each time I had a painful memory, finally brought me to a place where I had peace. My prayer focus for about twenty-two years was my marriage and then the Lord released us to go our separate ways. I was keenly aware that this was not God’s best plan for us but He knew what was in our hearts . Now in my twenty-third year of singleness, I am grateful to God for all that He has been teaching me. My focus is on Him and all that He wants me to learn. I am being challenged to come out of my comfort zones and experience His faithfulness.
For most of my married life, I had a powerless, victim mindset. The childhood abuse taught me to believe many lies about myself. I thought that I wasn’t loveable, not smart, a failure, unattractive, unsuccessful, defective and I expected rejection. I lived with so much fear and anxiety, that I rarely experienced joy. Raising 2 daughters who had chronic illnesses that seemed incurable occupied much of my thought life. I constantly searched for ways to help them. As a nurse, I felt powerless, all the while working twelve hour shifts in my stress filled career. I felt overwhelmed and alone. The enemy reinforced my belief that I was a failure. Seemingly never-ending relationship conflicts with my teen aged daughter added to the daily stress. My husband just grew more distant. I wondered where God was in all of this. Then one day, at the age of forty-five, I hemorrhaged all night and knew this could be it. The nine months of heavy bleeding prior had been discounted by my doctor. I could quite possible die there alone on my bathroom floor. I called out to God in a panic, berating myself for not acting sooner. Suddenly, I heard God speak to me in such an assuring still small voice. “ Wendy, you have given me your life. Now let me manage this!” I was too weak to do anything to help myself as I was on the verge of passing out. My only choice was to surrender to Him and wait.
I couldn’t imagine what He would do, but I had to trust Him. He was right. Suddenly, my husband came running up from the downstairs bedroom and knocked on my daughter’s door, telling her to call an ambulance. Later, when I asked him how he knew to come to me, he said that God woke him up and told him to get to me as I was in trouble! Wow, God You are so amazing! I was taken by ambulance to the hospital and was told I lost half of my blood volume. Any more and I would have had to have a blood transfusion. I didn’t lose one more drop of blood all that day while I waited to have surgery. The doctors couldn’t believe what they saw when they checked me internally. They said “ How did you not bleed out? You have grape like suspended clumps of clotted blood in you!” I just said “It was God.” Two weeks later, I learned that I had aggressive cancer in my uterus and needed the whole works out, including the ovaries. This meant instant menopause, but I wasn’t concerned at all. I was blessed with a joy from God and so glad that the medical problem would be solved. The abdominal surgery was painful as was the six weeks of radiation that followed. My internal organs were burned quite badly causing me to have intestinal problems for years to come. Sadly, I had hoped that this crisis would bring my husband and I closer together, but the opposite occurred. I was puzzled as to why we never spoke about this cancer and how he felt. As always, I just carried on and tried not to be a bother or “rock the boat.”
This experience increased my faith to trust God in every area of my life. In several places in the Word it says that faith must be tested. “..knowing that the testing of your faith produces patience.” James 1:3. (NKJV) God uses the challenges in our lives to grow us in our knowledge of Him so we will trust Him more. 1Peter 1:7 says “These trials will show that your faith is genuine. It is being tested as fire tests and purifies gold-though your faith is more precious than mere gold. So when your faith remains strong through many trials, it will bring you much praise and glory and honour on the day when Jesus Christ is revealed to the whole world.” (NLT) He doesn’t just want us to know about Him but to really know Him. In Psalm 103:7 the verse says “He made known His ways to Moses, His acts to the children of Israel.”(NKJV) It seems to be a lifelong journey. During my single years, the Lord has given me many opportunities to step out, take risks and see that God is faithful. The more I overcome my fears and trust Him, the more I discover that I really “can do all things through Christ who strengthens me.” Philippians 4:13 (NKJV) I have travelled alone to many places in the world, gone on several mission trips to the Philippines, West Indies, Mexico, South Africa and Israel. I have had to overcome one of my worst fears of driving long distances on the highway. In 2006, I felt like the Lord was leading me to attend the two year ministry school at Bethel in Redding California but had no idea how I would get there from Canada. Strangely, I thought God would accommodate my fears. But no. He challenged me with going to the other side of my fear. And I did. I drove there back and forth four times. Praise You Jesus! This became the title of my book that God told me to write after finishing the school. I had to depend on Holy Spirit to lead me each step of the way, as I wrote. It wasn’t easy, but He wouldn’t let me quit. I knew my story would encourage and inspire others and so I continued for eleven long years. It would also be a spiritual legacy for my grandchildren and future generations. I recall being so very frustrated with God several times.
When He would challenge me in my nursing career. I would pray lofty prayers about being an ambassador for Him in my workplace and feel very confident before my shift. Then, upon seeing my assignment of patients, many who I didn’t feel qualified to care for, I would panic and start to think of ways to get out of the situation. I would pray “why God is it so important to give me these patients to care for when I don’t feel qualified? Can’t You just let me look after the easy ones?“ And then I would remember my prayer. Ok, I would have to lean on Him and trust that He will help me. Anxiety and fear often remained with me but I experienced amazing opportunities to share my story and pray with patients. God wants us to overcome and experience freedom from all of our fears. He is our ever present help in times of trouble. Through these experiences, we are discovering who He has made us to be, destroying lies of incompetence and shows us His faithfulness. We must surrender every part of our lives to Him. Just like a butterfly must struggle to get out of the cocoon to gain the strength to fly, so too we need to struggle in our faith to get stronger. If we help the butterfly to get out, then it will not be able to fly and will die. God is there with us cheering us on like a good Father who wants His kids to succeed.
Knowing our identity, power and authority is another key to spiritual growth. We are God’s sons and daughters here on earth. We are royalty. How will we then think, act and express ourselves as ambassadors of Christ? We need to get a Kingdom mindset rather than a poverty, victim one. “But you are a chosen generation, a royal priesthood, a holy nation, His own special people, that you may proclaim the praises of Him who called you out of darkness into His marvelous light.” 1 Peter 2: 9 (NKJV) “I will be a Father to you, And you shall be My sons and daughters, says the LORD Almighty.” 2 Corinthians 6:8 (NKJV) Just like the enemy is trying to steal our identity in the natural, so too is he trying to steal it in the spiritual. Knowing who we are and whose we are is vital to walking in victory. Using the power and authority especially in our prayer life is essential. The enemy tried to tempt Jesus in the wilderness but Jesus used the Word as His weapon and the enemy left Him. “Behold, I give you authority to trample on serpents and scorpions and over ALL the power of the enemy, and nothing shall by any means hurt you.” Luke 10:19 (NKJV) We don’t walk prideful but humbly knowing that our power, strength, wisdom, provision, authority and all that we have comes from God. My favorite life verse is Jeremiah 29:11 ”For I know the plans I have for you,” declares the LORD, “plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future.” (NIV) He gave me this verse right after my marriage ended and I was sent to Youth with a Mission school. I thought He made a big mistake as I believed I was disqualified. I have heard a saying “God doesn’t call the qualified, but He qualifies the called.” Praise God! The mission trip had several challenges for me but God accomplished great things through it all. He wants us to live victoriously and partner with Him to impact the lives of those we meet.
God is our provider. I have seen and experienced many provision miracles which I share in my book “ The Other Side Of Fear. My Journey Into Perfect Love”( pen name W. Veronica Lisare) 3 John 2 says “ Beloved, I pray that you prosper in all things and be in health as your soul prospers.”(NKJV) Our soul is our mind, will and emotions. We need to feed on His Truth, guard our minds and hearts, so our souls will prosper.
Worship, praise and thanksgiving are essential. We need to develop a lifestyle of praising and thanking God no matter what. Philippians 4:4 tells us to “rejoice and again I say rejoice.” Worship is a strong weapon of warfare as the enemy can’t bear being near it. James 4:7 says “Therefore submit to God, resist the devil and he will flee from you.”(NKJV) I have seen and experienced healing during worship. We are drawing near to His Presence. David was such a worshipper and we can learn much from him. He was honest with God about his thoughts and feelings, but he would always end with worship. The Bible calls him “a man after His own heart” 1 Samuel 13:14 (NKJV) We can worship Him in many ways as well as singing and reading the Word out loud. Some churches include other forms of active expressions like flagging, banner waving, art and dance. Some worship bands break out into spontaneous Holy Spirit led songs on their instruments. Psalm 100:4 says that “we enter His gates with thanksgiving, and into His courts with praise: be thankful to Him, and bless His name.” (NKJV) We seek His face and not just His hand. He is worthy of our praise.
Lastly I want to mention the power of taking communion often. I take it daily and pray a prayer acknowledging what the elements represent. I have especially noticed that my health issues have gradually improved since I started this practice over the past 2 years. Listening to teaching and hearing testimonies of healing inspired me.
Dear sisters and brothers in Christ. I pray that you are encouraged as I have shared some of the spiritual growth keys that the Holy Spirit has taught me. God bless you all.
Respectfully submitted July 3,2021
Living in peace can only be achieved when we decide to do it with God. It is the only way to make things possible. We are never promised a life with complete ease and prosperity here on earth by God. We are bound to experience adversities and challenges. But walking life in the light of God will give us comfort as we journey through it.
Deuteronomy 5:33 reveals this passage, “You shall walk in all the way that the Lord your God has commanded you, that you may live, and that it may go well with you, and that you may live long in the land that you shall possess.” In life and in life alone, are we able to prepare for eternal life. As long as you accept the blessings of God as you go on this lifetime adventure, he will lead you to the right path. God gives us hope. We may not realize it, but God is always beside us every step of the way. When we need a shoulder to lean on, God is always ready to comfort us—He accepts us with open arms.
W. Veronica Lisare authored a compelling book called The Other Side of Fear that displays the importance of knowing the ultimate love of God. The author tells a moving story that can encourage hope, courage, and joy in our hearts. This book also lets us witness intimate parts of her journal, giving us a glimpse of the jarring realities that life on earth can bring us. Dive into the story and learn the spiritual tools that the author learned throughout her journey, The Other Side Of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love by Veronica Lisare.
To give you a deeper view of walking a journey of life with God’s guidance, here are some ways you need to know:
Consider Him in All Ways
Every step you make, every decision you have to do, you should think of God first before doing it. Even with the word that you let out, consider Him. Incorporate God's teachings in all ways. There may be times when you have to make rash decisions, but as long as you know Him and you've taken measures, like reading the Bible, you should put His learnings into play. Apply God's words in everyday living.
Develop a Strong Relationship with God
We are lucky enough to be exposed to many methods to have a close relationship with God. One of the most beautiful ways to develop a bond with Him is through knowing Him; reading His Words can help us with this. Reading the Bible will let us see God's true character. You will get to know Him better, and eventually, you want to also do His good deeds. Reading the Bible can also bring you peace. John 16:33, “I have said these things to you, that in me you may have peace. In the world, you will have tribulation. But take heart; I have overcome the world.”
Pray. Pray. Pray.
Part of growing your faith is connecting to God and opening up to Him whatever you are feeling. Praying is a time for you to bond with God. When you do, find a safe place where you are comfortable pouring your heart out. It should be a place where there is silence, not just in your surroundings but in your heart. When you pray, don't be afraid to feel your emotions. It is a time for you and God. Talk to Him as the King of Kings, in view of friendship. Praying should be something that you do throughout your day.
Sort Out Your Life
You need to make sure that you should be free of distractions and necessary matters when you decide to walk on a path with God. That is why you need to work on your spiritual health. Spiritual health should go hand in hand with physical and mental health. When you are spiritually healthy, you start to live a purposeful life as it acknowledges our search for a deeper meaning in life. Being spiritually healthy means creating a balance in your life, accompanied by God's amazing grace. Thus, make sure to do the thing that makes fulfills your spirituality—identifying what truly matters.
Stress and burn-out can lead to so much more serious complications, such as depression and anxiety. Once you've reached this point, it will be hard to get back on track. That is why as early as possible, you need to be able to put an end to the stress and burn-out you are feeling and refresh your soul. A refreshed soul is excellent for everybody. You can never feel worse with it. Nonetheless, no matter how easy it sounds, achieving a replenished soul is not that easy. This blog will provide you with some effective ways on how you can make it happen to yourself.
The feeling of emptiness and exhaustion is not something you should not mind. It is a dire factor because mental issues—their real. They need to be attended to and not neglected. Your emotional, psychological, and social well-being is all included in your mental health. Thus, when you are mentally not well, all the other aspects may not also be well. Many studies have even proved that mental health also has excellent effects on your physical and spiritual health. Some people would believe that everything is just all mental, which makes sense. When you have the right mindset, you will start to have healthy self-esteem. It reinforces your feelings about yourself. Thus, replenishing your soul requires you to be mentally healthy.
A healthy soul and mind can also influence a healthy body. When you feel like you need a little push to take action on having a healthy body, you need to make sure that you have a healthy inside. If you don't know how to start your journey to replenish your soul, this blog is ideal for you. These points are going to be ways that you can incorporate into your daily life. Here are the effective ways on how you can replenish your soul:
Take Time to Relax
You don't have to spend extra money on a luxurious vacation in another country or a five-start hotel. It will only take for you to have something that you can rely on. Even a hike someplace close to home can help with this. Other people have some at-home entertainment that can help them relax their minds. A good book is a great example of this. Books can take you to other places, creating a way for you to get away from reality. The Other Side Of Fear by Veronica Lisare is a great book to kick start this journey. This memoir follows a story of rippling fear and low self-esteem. Eventually, it will lead to knowing the ultimate love of God. Reading this book will take you on a great adventure that's full of hope and love.
Live in the Present
Sometimes, people can get so scared of the future without realizing how beautiful it is to experience the present. And, when people get too drowned by the memories, they forget to make new memories in the present. Living in the present means that you will have to let go of all your worries and pain. Moving on and learning from the past is never easy, but you will feel freedom like never before once you get to the point. And, since no one can ever know what the future holds, but you know who holds your future, and you are the only one who can get to decide on that.
Meditating is an excellent activity that one can do to nourish their spiritual purposes. There are many ways on how you can do it. One way is by calming yourself down. Find a place where you can focus on yourself solely. This is a great time for reflection. You can assess your past actions, which helps you do better the next time around. Eventually, if you do this every day, you will notice how much your mental health improved. You will start to feel happier and achieve the more fulfilling life you've always wanted.
Essentially, doing the measures of replenishing your soul can give you a better quality of life. You can find your purpose and accomplish your everyday task just as you wanted once you start your journey of having a healthier soul.
I am often told that I am too hard on myself and I know I am not alone. Having been raised in a home where learning by making mistakes was not accepted, I was expected to be perfect. Even after we leave our childhood home, we continue to impose our parental judgements onto ourselves. Listen to your self-talk. Is it critical? Do we also hold others to our standards and quietly criticize them if they fail? The Bible speaks about not judging others. It wasn’t until I was in my late fifties before I understood the scriptures about God’s grace. My attempts at being perfect don’t earn me His love. Ephesians 2:8 says “ For by grace you have been saved through faith; and this is not of yourselves, it is a gift of God.” Trying to be perfect is not what God requires. He knew we would fall short and so Jesus, the only perfect One, came to take our sins onto Himself. Having a revelation of this truth gives absolute freedom. We no longer need to hold ourselves in contempt for failing, but instead, thank Him for forgiving us and setting us free from being driven to perform. It is faith in what Jesus did and trusting that God is molding us into His likeness that pleases God. All we need to do is continue to focus on Him, surrender to the process and trust Him. If we continue to fix our eyes and thoughts on our failures, that is where we will tend to go.
I pray for countless people who come for prayer about a situation and then tell all the reasons why there is no solution. We need to be open to the belief that somehow God can break through the obstacles and make a way. Encouraging people to receive the answer by faith is essential. Like the man in the Bible said “ I do believe; help my unbelief.” Mark 9:24
For example, we may receive a hopeless diagnosis from a doctor. Having been in the medical field, I realize that these are their best guess based on their experiences. But God is the Great Physician and has the final say. Jesus paid the price for our healing when he received the lashes right before He went on the cross. Isaiah prophesied about this in chapter 53:5-6.
We need to agree with those words and declare “ by His wounds, we are healed.”
Faith doesn’t come easily or quickly. It takes time and experience with God to come to know that He is not judging or condemning us. He is good. He loves us. We will have tests of our faith as that is the only way to grow us. Many times I felt as though I was free falling without a parachute. Everything in me wanted to find a place of safety, security and normalcy. But then, God came through and showed me His faithfulness.
I love the story of Joseph in Genesis 37-50. He was sold into slavery by his brothers and went through many trials, but God used it all for good in the end. Joseph eventually could see that his brothers act was meant for evil, but God meant it for good. He kept His eyes on God and trusted Him through all the confusing, dark times.
Be encouraged dear readers. Speak kindly over yourselves. Don’t agree with the condemning, accusing thoughts of our enemy, the devil. Only agree with what God says about us. We are His beloved sons and daughters. He wants us to be blessed. We are loved.
Respectfully submitted July 7, 2021
Wendy Arelis ( W. Veronica Lisare)
Photo from Shutterstock
We are taught to search for value for everything and make sure to get our money's worth. Assessing how much we are willing to pay and the item's importance is how we know its value. We tend to put a value on people and ourselves in a similar way. There is a belief that a person's worth is based on status and wealth. Whilst we begin linking our value and worth on this one-dimensional measure. However, can this truly sustain a fulfilling life and a high sense of self-worth? Wealth and status do not equate to how content we are in life. These are only two of the other faulty and covert measures that humanity uses. A thought process based on lack and fear leads to judgment and self-criticism if these measures are not met.
However, only through God and yourself will you find contentment, self-worth, and value as shared in W. Veronica's book on finding your true value and identity. W. Veronica Lisare found that her life experiences, relationships, and assumptions are not identifiers of her worth and value. Now through her book, she will lead you to the same journey of discovery. Following Lisare's lead to unearthing your value and self-worth will be the best decision you will ever make. Value and self-worth are created internally, so it might seem complicated to quantify them. However, there will always be signs that you'll slowly see in yourself.
Perfection is Not Your Goal
The first sign you'll notice is that you no longer aspire for perfection. Striving for excellence is admirable but striving for perfection is impossible to achieve. This does not mean you don't believe in yourself; rather, you have become aware that you are not flawless and that perfection doesn't exist. Essential happiness is not found in perfection. The need to become the most beautiful person the media portrays is no longer a predisposition. Instead, you begin loving your flaws and accept yourself as who you are. You become living and a being who can still make poor decisions. There is room for improvement, but it is not the foremost important thing for you.
No Desire for Approval
The fact that you no longer desire to change for the sake of someone else's approval is a sign of value and self-worth. Pretending and adjusting yourself to please other people will be pointless. You won't need to compromise your standards just to gain appreciation. When you know your self-worth, settling for less is never an option. Instead, you focus on personal growth. You change for the sake of yourself— not because others want you to change. This doesn't mean that you aren't accepting criticism. After all, you know you are not always right, but you don't let others mold you into something that fits their standards.
You are Incomparable
Comparison breeds doubt, which delays your discovery of value and self-worth. You are incomparable. Sure, sometimes comparison helps as a form of motivation to be the best. But the strongest motivation you need comes from within, not from other sources. Comparison often leads to unhappiness when in fact, we have so much to be grateful for. Realizing you are incomparable is a sure win because being you is one thing you're better at than other people. Knowing your worth, there is no need for constant reassurance and the need to prove yourself to anyone. There's never a point considering that there's always someone better. Hence shift your perspective inwards. At the end of the day, you remain true to yourself. You've stopped comparing yourself to others, and you don't concede to societal standards.
Clear Values are in Place
What you believe in is important in the way you live and work. Clear values are deal breakers as they help you with every decision, more importantly in realizing your self-worth. With clear values in place, you know your boundaries. You know what you deserve and what you don't deserve, and you dare to speak out when necessary. No external validation to prove your value; instead, an internal compass of right and wrong.
You Can Let Things Go
High self-worth is how you see yourself and how you take care of your peace and joy. People with low self-worth are firmly attaching their worth to experiences, rewards, and people. And when those leave, feelings of worthiness diminish. People with high self-worth don't need to hold on to anything since they have everything they need; there's no need to force things or people to stay. Your value and self-worth are entirely up to you. You are worthy because you believe it. You trust that you are enough that letting things go will be effortless.
Life can be too unpredictable, taking you on a journey of a lifetime through its valleys and mountains. Nevertheless, life is very precious. Had it not been so, none would make efforts to cling on to it as long as possible. Life and existence have always been intertwined; without the latter, life cannot happen. However, existence is sometimes challenging. Many do not have the fortune to get a good childhood, education, and access to food and shelter. These people find their existence difficult and life harsh. Just like how life and existence are connected, another element linked to life is hope. Hope is what most people cling to when they find themselves in the darkness that is slowly eating their lives. Hope is what makes us want to survive and thrive in this world, which is an important aspect for anyone and everyone.
The world these days isn't as glittery and glamorous. Society now is ridden with unforeseen evils, which makes living more difficult. And for those whose existence is constantly challenged, they cling to hope more since it is the only way of survival.
It's natural to get lost along the way, considering that life tends to be tougher the longer you live on earth. Making decisions is never easy, and making wrong decisions can lead you astray. The wrong decisions don't mean that there is no going back, instead think of it as a detour. Always remember that one thing is constant in our life, and that is change. You cannot avoid making wrong decisions nor unexpected events in your life. However, you can control how you choose to respond to them. You have the power to activate positive change in your life for the better. Making life changes is hard, but it's even harder when it's a big one. Despite that terrifying statement, you must get past the fear and move forward with the things you want to do. Thus, here are some helpful reminders to pocket.
Anything Worth Having Comes with Risk and Fear
We grow up thinking that fear is always a bad thing. It makes us weak, sometimes insecure. But, have you ever thought that maybe what you know of fear may be wrong? Rather than seeing it as something inherently negative, maybe it's time to see it as a natural part of humanity. Most use it to stop them from taking risks to avoid bad results. However, some learn to harness fear and use it to their advantage. W. Veronica Lisare changed her perspective about fear and learned not only to conquer but also to use it. She learned that anything she has now is a result of facing risks and fears. And now, she uses her voice to help others with this ordeal.
So, remember that risks and fear are always part of success. You are capable of taking risks, face fears, and still succeed in the end.
The Worst-Case Scenario Isn't All That Bad
Many successful people have learned an important lesson: you can choose to be at peace or choose to be anxious. If you choose the latter, you'll never know what is on the other side of fear. Being anxious is a result of overthinking the worst-case scenario, which can strike fear within. You are probably in limbo right now, and choosing to be anxious about the future will get you nowhere. Stop thinking of the worst-case scenario because it isn't always all that bad.
Security Blankets Keep You from Growing
We all have security blankets, but they aren't literally blankets. Well, not anymore, that is. Security blankets may be comfy and make us feel safe and secure, but it's stopping you from growing. Security blankets will keep you safely tucked in your comfort zone instead of facing fear and risk. To make significant life changes, you need to decide whether you want to stay put in place or face your fears. There is no in-between. Overcoming Fear on W. Veronica's book, The Other Side of Fear, declares that you must move through your own challenges to the other side of everything. Only this way will you be more brave, more mature, and more who you should be.
Have the Courage to Trust Yourself
You can make all sorts of excuses just to get away from doing anything or making important decisions. However, avoidance just portrays you as someone who doesn't trust yourself to do the right thing. It's natural to have little confidence when placed in a new situation or place. Don't be too worried. Give yourself more credit than that. You are capable of doing anything and everything if you put your mind to it. You've dealt with things much harder than this, right? And look at yourself now; you're fine and thriving. So, have courage, trust yourself, and you'll figure out the rest.
Many of us feel as though we are walking blindfolded into quicksand as we wake daily and hope that all of the events in this past year were just a bad dream. But no. It is our reality. We don’t know what is really true or who we can trust as the information and sources seem more often unreliable. Trusting our government officials as well as the media to be honest seems to be a thing of the past.
I have known and trusted only one source and that is Father God, His Son Jesus Christ, Holy Spirit and of course the Word of God! The enemy of our souls Satan, is the author of confusion, not God. I heard it said that the Bible states “fear not” at least 365 times…one for each day. Fear gives the enemy access to us and causes trouble. It is essential to our safety to know God, His goodness, and to trust Him to help us. We come into His Kingdom by accepting the sacrifice that His Son Jesus gave on the cross for us. His life. His payment for our sins so we can be reconciled again to God. Nothing hindering our relationship. Nothing to earn. Just receive it by grace. Pure love looks like that. While we were still sinners, Jesus suffered an agonizing death to pay the full price for all of our sins. They are forgiven. There is nothing that can keep God from loving and helping us if we look to Him as our source. He is our “strong tower” and bedrock foundation (Psalm 91). The words to a song ring out…” on Christ the solid rock I stand. All other ground is sinking sand. All other ground is sinking sand. “Yes, and Amen. He will give us wisdom, discernment, guidance and insight if we just ask. But “the reverent fear of the Lord is the beginning of all knowledge. But fools despise wisdom and instruction” (Proverbs 1:7)
We are instructed to “Call to Me, and I will answer you, and show you great and mighty things, which you do not know.” Jeremiah 33:3.
The Bible is full of scriptures that encourage us to trust God. We are also told that we will have troubles in this world, but He has overcome them. He will never leave us, nor forsake us. He has a wonderful plan for our lives. (Jeremiah 29:11). Our faith is built during our trials. We can really trust Him if we make Jesus our Lord and Saviour. Let Him be in the driver’s seat of our lives. As well, we need to GLANCE at the world and all its problems, but GAZE at Jesus. Keep focus on Him; the “Author and Perfecter of our faith!” Renewing the thoughts or beliefs we have in our mind is accomplished by putting the Word of Truth in it, declaring them out loud often and renouncing lies of fear and unbelief. This process takes time and discipline but will be essential to keep ourselves from being led astray and ultimately losing our peace and joy. The joy of knowing the Lord is our strength.
Be encouraged dear readers. He is faithful and is the only sure place of safety and love.
May you all come to know and trust Him. God bless you.
Wendy (W. Veronica Lisare)
In today's world, many people are accommodating others' needs, which often leads to us only revealing what's expected of us. This, in turn, renders us unable to differentiate what our true selves are. Thus, failing to live as a distinguished person with a sense of purpose. When you can't sense your own needs, you wind up feeling empty. You'll be floating through life without really feeling or fulfilling anything.
If you want to live a fulfilling life, you must first find out who you truly are. This is a long process and something that takes searching before discovering. Finding your true self does not happen when you're stuck in fear, disconnected, and with no action course. This article will help you uncover your true identity to start unearthing your passions, values, desires, and motivations. Here's how:
Make Sense of Your Past
To begin with, you are missing a lot of the best things about yourself when you're alienated from your true self. Finding your identity means becoming aware of those around you, what makes you happy, and what does not. Identifying those mentioned above can be difficult when you're too disconnected. The first step to discovering your identity is to explore your past. Our past is our foundation. The past is what builds you to who you are now, and in order to uncover who you are, you have to know your own story.
Unresolved traumas from your history dictate the way you act today. Hence, it serves you to recognize your past to understand it. Like a storm, they will pass, and afterward, you'll be able to pick yourself up and make something out of it. W. Veronica Lisare was once one of us, she had a hard time and low self-esteem because of her devastating past, but when she embraced her authentic identity and love of God, she discovered so much about herself. The Other Side of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love by Lisare is a book where she shares her journey to make meaning out of her life. When you're disconnected like Lisare, it's hard to know what you want, and it's even harder to make decisions that are right for you. Better understanding your past allows you a step forward to becoming who you should be.
Research has shown that it isn't just the things that happened in the past that defines who you have become, but also of how much you've sought meaning after what's happened. Yes, you don't deserve a traumatizing history, but when you allow that to stop you is another thing. Life is never made unbearable by circumstances, but because of the lack of meaning and purpose. When seeking your true identity, you must also seek out your own personal sense of purpose. This means that a person with no purpose won't learn his real identity and will question the meaning of his life. Therefore, seek meaning and find the happiness linked to finding your true self. Make something out of the values dictating you and follow the principles you have created. Research even shows that the happiest people are generally happier when they learn their goals that extend beyond themselves.
Visualize Who You Want to Be
Knowing who you want to be is fundamental to finding yourself. Identifying your wants and desires will help you realize who you are and what's important to you. This may sound simple, but it's far from that. Many fall victim to negative thoughts about life's circumstances rather than focusing on the positive side of one's self. You lose confidence in who you want to be since you're considering the opinions of other people. And because of this, most people would put their walls up out of fear and rejection. Wanting makes you feel alive but will make you vulnerable to the world. But to truly live and find your identity means you have to be open to these possibilities.
When you learn what you want, you are challenged to take power over your life. No longer will you spiral into negative thinking and disconnect. Instead, you accept the power of your own destiny, harnessing your personal power to finding and becoming your true self. Changing your perception allows you to be more in touch with who you are. It strips you from your old, guarded self with no sense of purpose or meaning. As you discard this image of your former self, you allow your authentic self to emerge and flourish.