A person is in a classroom, and they received a sudden call from your professor. They became one of the ones to recite in the class orally. Suddenly, hanging out with friends, there’s a need to proceed to the top floor. A person is in the mall with their friends, and there is a sudden need to ride the elevator, or the mall lights suddenly go out. Being alone and the sudden realization that no one is besides that person strikes hard. So much more scenarios can trigger someone’s fear. Usually, fears come out when faced with triggers—the triggers to fear connects to the cause of your fear in the first place. Even if someone is feeling an irrational fear or a fear due to trauma and stress, when fear strikes, it’s painful.
According to kidshealth.org, fear is the word we use to describe our emotional reaction to something that seems dangerous. But the word “fear” is used in another way: to name something, a person often feels the need to be afraid. People fear things or situations that make them feel unsafe or unsure. When experiencing fear, things may upside down. People might find themselves stuck in a cycle of fear and anxiety, and they feel like there’s no way out when stuck. When going through the numerous effects of fear in our life, people tend to shut things out and let themselves get stuck inside fear.
Fear is such a huge factor in a lot of mental health problems. Things that may occur with extensive fear are possible: depression, anxiety, or suicidal thoughts. People don’t want those feelings to be in themselves, so we need to take action when we have fears. If we have fears that have been stuck for us for a long time, attempting to “face our fears” may be a difficult act to do. They might not take the risk and just allow themselves to get stuck inside the prison cell of fear. That feeling is entirely normal, especially if such fear causes someone’s whole mental health to deteriorate. If this is the case, people need to see a professional and talk things out regarding your situation. But if they want to fight the fear that has been bothering them, then there is some advice that one can follow.
W. Veronica Lisare and Her Works
The author W. Veronica Lisare is fond of topics regarding mental health and the solutions to the problem. The book that she wrote shows the other side of fear and has been a substantial spiritual guide to those with extensive feelings of fear. Veronica Lisare’s featured articles in her blog also allow many readers to learn more about fear and trauma.
One Step Back, Two Steps Forward
When someone is dealing with fear with an allocated time to think, one of the best ways is to take a step back from the situation or event, and they should not be a soldier where one just keeps on attacking. It’s better and best to take a step back from the situation. If someone is experiencing the fear of loud noises, even if they might “miss the fun,” a need to take a step back out of the event or occasion is needed. When the fear striking someone is about the fear of having “alone thoughts,” they can take a step back from being alone and try going outside or calling their friends. To what suits them best is a must to do. Remember that taking a step back might mean some sacrifices, but it can help those experiencing fear move two steps forward.
Understanding the Self
When we watch a superhero movie with villains, there will always be a backstory about why they became villains. This way, the viewers can understand the character. This concept can also give an excellent understanding to the villains. The people with fear are NOT villains, but they have a backstory about how they acquired it. Someone experiencing fear must understand themselves to allow the mind to formulate possible solutions and responses.
In facing fear, one must know that there is no other way to get out of such fear than making action. When one is experiencing fear/trauma and wants to get rid of feelings and thoughts, solutions are available. All someone needs to do is to act upon the matter. It may take time, but you must face fear itself when wanting to defeat fear.
Hold Unto Faith
We have different perspectives, and we all have a different faith. No matter our beliefs, we need to have a stronghold for them. W. Veronica Lisare wrote a book about how faith can affect one’s view of fear. We can lessen the consequences of fear if we keep on a tight grip on their faith. Continue believing and trusting that everything will be off the chest in the end!
Check out the audiobook version of W. Veronica Lisare's The Other Side of Fear: My Journey Into Perfect Love available on Amazon.
There’s something about meeting someone for the first time that makes you lose it. The butterflies in your stomach, the trembling hands, the sweaty forehead, the I - don’t - know - what - to - do - but - it’s - kinda - awkward - if - I - also - don’t - do - anything feeling are all part of the experience when meeting someone new.
But what if they’re not that new? What if you’ve known them for years but are just meeting them again after who knows how long? What if you’re meeting your book club face to face for the first time but have known each other for a year online? What if it’s reuniting with some of your old friends from elementary school? You can just imagine the awkwardness you will have when meeting them again - the awkward silence after saying hello, the random clearing of the throat after saying, “I’ve been doing well, too!” Even some of the closest friend groups don’t always pick up where they left off when they meet again after a long time, so here are a few icebreakers to spark up some conversation:
1. Reminiscent Games or Activities
Maybe it’s reliving your old childhood games, revisiting your past activities, and eventually fun experiences you’ve once had that will help get rid of that awkwardness. Some games or activities that you used to do before will give your group some common ground and help some open up after remembering the closeness of the group when doing activities the group used to bond over.
For example, if you’re meeting some of your old high school friends, then you could go to a coffee shop you once frequented or visit some of the restaurants or places your friend group dropped by after class. These activities will undoubtedly bring up some memories you had in the past and get you talking.
2. Custom Bingo
This is ideal for those larger groups with more than eight people meeting again after some time. It involves making your own Bingo card and asking people to mark spots they own, have done, or experienced before. The bingo card should be creative and relevant to the group you are meeting to make this a fun activity.
For example, if you plan to meet with a group of animal lovers, it would help if the bingo would contain choices like: had my pet since I was five years old, own or owned a reptile, hate cleaning my pet’s poop, my pet is an alarm clock in the morning, and the likes - featuring some relatable experiences of pet life which could spark conversation on each of the boxes that were ticked. There may be a mix of stories that you’ve already heard, but there will surely be more stories to share as you go along the bingo card.
3. Finding Common Ground
Looking for something that all members of the group have in common may be difficult if you do not know the people you are meeting. However, given that you may have known these people before or met them virtually, it would not be that difficult to find commonalities, especially for small groups.
To illustrate, if you’re a religious group who loves books, talking about a book that all of you have read, such as The Other Side of Fear by Veronica Lisare, would help your group break the ice and share their favorite lines or parts of the book. This could also jumpstart other conversations like previous experiences they’ve had relating to some parts of the book the group was discussing.
4. Pictionary or Charades
If you plan to meet in a spacious place, playing Pictionary or charades would be a good choice since this would spark conversation and even bring back some inside jokes of the group.
For bigger groups, you could play telephone charades or the doodle challenge. Telephone charades is played when a person acts out a charade for only the next person standing in line, who in turn acts out the action again for the next person. The last person in the line attempts to guess the original clue. Doodle challenge where people in a line would draw on each other’s back wherein the second and succeeding people try to recreate the image by feeling the movement of the pen. These are hilarious since the actions or drawings would often change after it was passed on from one person to another.
5. Two Truths and One Lie
This activity will help you find out something new about your friends while trying to remember what you already know about them. To play this game, each person will tell three statements, two of which are true and one is false. The other people will then try to guess which of the statements is a lie.
To make it interesting, your group could also set boundaries or make categories for the statements they will make, such as themes of love life, career, hobbies, and the likes.
There is no single emotion that drives our world today, but there is one that tends to be most impactful and it is fear. Fear is probably the most prevalent emotion on this planet and most of our decision making is driven by it. But this is a truth that we often overlook. Fear is something that has affected all of us at some point in life, and for many it continues to have a hand in their lives. To W. Veronica Lisare, fear once played a role in her life but as soon as she found God, she learned to let it go and face the other side of fear. Veronica's book on Finding your true value and identity, The Other Side of Fear, unveils the reality of fear, and how it can take over your life, not just mentally but also physically.
We fear many things, from painful past experiences to even people we encounter daily. Like the author, we must face all of these to grow and transform into an even greater person. However, many people choose to live in fear as if they’re unaware of the significance fear holds regarding personal growth.
Here are realities about fear that we’ve learned from W. Veronica Lisare.
Fear Works Like a Disease
Like diseases in your body, fear cripples a person’s personal growth, eats away your logic, and keep you from being your best self. It gets deep inside of you, and you can’t shake it, kind of like a bad cold that won’t go away. And unfortunately, like that cold, fear can be passed from person to person, and even generation to generation. Therefore, it’s especially important to avoid ignoring fears that are hindering your progress in life. It has the potential to spiral out of control, limiting us in many ways.
One way to deal with fear is to admit its existence—akin to how an individual would have to come to terms with a diagnosis—in order to even begin seeking treatment and change. Addressing this emotion is the only way to overcome it completely.
Fear Disguises Itself
Nobody likes to admit being afraid, but sometimes we just don’t recognize the disguises that fear wears in our lives. Some of its costumes are so well clothed in your own skin that you don’t recognize it as a foreign feature at all. If you haven’t noticed it yet, fear cloaks itself as the regular anxiety, anger, depression, and doubt in your life. However, it often masquerades as a cloak of protection, keeping you from doing things that may cause harm. It takes on masks of other emotions, thoughts, and physical problems so seamlessly that you don’t recognize it. Look back on situations and incidents, see them in a whole new light. Your reactions in the past are cause by fear.
Since you can’t conquer what you can’t identify, try to pull the mask off some of fear’s most unusual and clever disguises.
There will Always Be Fear
As long as you live your life, you will experience new fears. When you try to grow, you have to take on new challenges which you have never faced before. With every step of the ladder of life, comes new challenges and another degree of fear. Simply accept that fear is a natural part of life. While this is true, you shouldn’t make a habit of just allowing it to keep a permanent residency in your life. Settling with the thought that unease will always exist is self-defeating. You see, everything you’ve ever wanted is sitting on the other side of fear. Consider that for a moment: to get what you want, you need to get past your fear. And as Jimmy Chin quote, “Fear is always there; it’s a survival instinct. You just need to know how to manage it.”
Fear is Not the Enemy
Fear can be a bully but it is not the real enemy. It can be the voice of reason, caution, and practicality that serves you well at times. The real enemy is your failure to acknowledge that you can do something about it. Waiting to stop feeling afraid is also the real enemy. Spending too much time trying to analyze or neutralize fear will only keep you exactly where you are. Stuck and stalled with zero momentum! If you don’t want to spend the rest of your life “waiting to start,” take charge today.
To conclude, it’s essential to understand the role your fears play in your life, and how they affect you. Once you’ve gain understanding, you can now grasp how these same fears may be hindering you from your ultimate potential. It’s time to stop overlooking this strong emotion in your life that is crippling you from achieving what’s best for you.